Tag Archives: promise

Without A Doubt

27 May

It was happening again, this time it came in the form of an incessant phone ringing.  Then a swarm of bees hovered around me stinging my arms, neck, and face. I screamed, I cannot stand this place- I just keep getting attacked.  That’s when Sharon grabbed the phone and called her pastor. What on earth is she doing that for, I wondered. I was not going to talk to her stupid pastor. I could hear her say that she would get me. She was insisting that I stop putting the horses out and listen to her pastor. I grabbed the phone ready to tell this guy that I did not need him. As he started to talk about Jesus and that there is a constant war going on for our souls. He said something about the blood of Christ and then I just tuned him out. With that the phone started to ring while I was on it with him.

“Ok, how do I get this phone to stop ringing?” I was now holding back tears and my throat had constricted, making my voice squeak.  The control freak in me was realizing that I had no control and I was terrified.

“I do not know how to make it stop, but I do know that if you ask Jesus into your heart, you will have His power to make it stop,” he said.

Hearing the word power lightened my heart.  I knew that he spoke of the only thing that I needed and wanted in my life.  I knew that this is what I needed.  I was coming against a force that was strangling my confidence.  I was in a war that was literally not of this world.  Since staying at this beautiful mansion in the heart of historic New Jersey, I had chairs move, groaning sounds emanating throughout the house , lights going on and off, the stereo turning on and playing rap and heavy metal simultaneously, and an ominous feeling that there was a presence in this beautiful home.  My girlfriend, Kim, and her husband had rehabbed this abandoned home and restored it to his original splendor.  It was her pride and joy.  She put up a state of art horse facility that was unprecedented in this area of the country.  As a horse lover, trainer, and instructor, she asked me to watch her place and take care of the horses while she and her family took a much anticipated vacation.  I jumped at the chance.  Who would not want to enjoy the luxuries that this home provided?  That is what I thought, but little did I know that it held a secret that would tear at my soul and convince me that this world is only one part of what we experience.

The other part was one that many people may have never experienced.  It seemed that this home was a portal for these demonic spirits that were tormenting me.  Kim had shared with me that she had felt a presence here and even when she looked at the home while it was abandoned lights would go on even though there was no electricity to the home.

While staying there I had experienced horrific thing.  I had scratches on my body that appeared in the middle of the night while I slept fitfully.  The next night all of the lights in this massive home went on at once.  I was scared beyond words, my faithful dog was out of her head with fear, barking and growling.  I could not stay in this home.  So I set the alarm and took off for the safety of my own home in Delaware.  Now I was appearing at the farm early in the morning, feeding the horses and taking care of the chores.  Then I would stay late, setting the home’s alarm and driving back to my home for some rest.

It was Friday September 1st 1995 and it was 7:00 in the morning.  I had already been attacked by bees and welts were appearing all over my body.  Now the phone was ringing.  I would grab the phone in the office of the barn and no one would be on it, just the sound of a disconnected call met my ears.  It was as if it was synchronized.  I would grab a horse to put it in the field and as soon as my foot hit the aisle, the phone would ring.  I would push the horse back and close the stall door and run to the office to grab the phone.  This went on for an hour.  That’s when Sharon, my best friend, sensing that I was in danger met me at the farm on this particular morning.  She was spooked by this farm, home, and happenings that I had relayed to her.

That’s what prompted the phone call to her pastor.  Apparently she had talked to him the night before sharing what was happening to me.  In the Pastor’s wisdom he shared that I should call him.  Instead of me calling him she took it upon herself to call for me and this is what lead to our conversation.

“Ok, how do I get the power?” the phone was still ringing while I was speaking interrupting me from hearing him respond.

I repeated louder this time, “How do I get the power?”

“Ask Jesus into your heart,” he said simply.

“Really? That’s all I need to do?” I was incredulous.  Though I did not know what this meant.  It seemed simple enough and obviously I needed it.

“Yes, would you like to ask Jesus into your heart?” he said.

“I would love to ask him into my heart,” I said with sincerity.

“Great, repeat after me.”

“Ok,” I said.  Suddenly the ringing of the phone stopped and I could hear him completely.

“God, I recognize and know that I am a sinner.  I know that you have made a way for me to live in Your glorious presence by the sacrifice of your Son on the cross.  Jesus shed his blood for my sins.  I know and recognize that He is Your Son.  You made a way for me to be free of sin and I ask you now to come into my heart.  Please live with me forever and make me a new creature. Amen.”

I repeated him word for word, but I could not digest what I said exactly.  All I knew was that this journey would be one that I would never forget.  Little did I know that this was only the beginning of a supernatural war that lasted one year.  It was during this year of sheer terror that I saw, witnessed, heard, and believed EVERYTHING that was ever said in the Bible as truth.  I slept, read, memorized the Bible.  It gave me a peace that has never left me.  I knew that the only thing that could come against the demonic forces was Jesus himself.  I know that I am one of the few that has actually lived in a world of supernatural terror but it has allowed me to see God’s Splendid Glory at work.   During this year God put into action of  transforming my life into a powerhouse for Jesus Christ.  I will be eternally grateful to Him for saving my life from the pit of hell.  I KNOW that Jesus will transform yours too.  Ask Him into your life as I did and live a life full of promise and hope.

Do you need answers for your life?  They can all be found in the ultimate instruction manual- the Bible. Pick one up today and read about the life of Jesus and His followers. 

Trust in God with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding.  Acknowledge Him in all that you do and He will direct your path. Prov. 3:5-6

 

 

One Day At A Time

17 Mar

The alarm goes off, I can’t ignore it, my four dogs are nudging me to turn it off.  My husband rolls over, he can sleep through anything.  My alarm is in the bathroom, ensuring that I will most certainly get up, I have to turn off the incessant beeping.  I trip over the dogs, turn on the dimmer light switch and make my way downstairs to a hot cup of coffee.

My dogs content to check out all that has happened over the night, they survey the property ending up in the back of the house near the sun room sliding glass door.  It is here that they paw at the door and it is where they lay in various positions around the room as I read the Bible.  I read, slowly allowing the comforting words to soothe my soul.  I re-read certain passages, underlining and making notes.  My Bible is like a journal, certain verses touch a nerve and I record the message I am learning.  I close the Bible, pick up my goal cards.  Index cards that I write all of the goals I want to achieve.  Some are lofty- they will take me years, others are something I need to do everyday.  On the back of each one I have written a verse that corresponds with the goal.  I am reminded that without a vision, the people perish.  I am not about to perish because of my clouded vision.  No, I know where I am going and how I am going to get there.

Then I walk outside.  I have been up for an hour and a half.  It is only 5:00 in the morning.  The stars glisten in the sky.  I hear the sounds of my horses stirring.  I can hear the lone call of a coyote.  I feel the presence of God so clearly now.  I feed the horses with exact precision.  I have done this everyday, the same way without fail.  My horses like me love to eat and they hungrily munch on their grain.  Their warm breath billows up in my face and I love the smell of their sweet molassey breath.  I pat their faces, except Hershey because he hates to be bothered when he eats.  I scratch Brutus’s ears, rub Milkshake’s belly, tickle Quest’s rump, pat Chessy’s noble chest, kiss Chicken Nugget’s adorable face, rub Button’s broad girth, scratch Pumpkin’s belly and move to his shoulder, and then I walk the fields.  I have trails around my property, and it is here that I do my praying. 

I LOVE being under the stars guided only by moonlight.  I pray for friends, family, this wonderful country, my students, my high school where I teach, missionaries, foreign countries, and my imprisoned brothers and sisters suffering for their faith.  My walk is slow, the sound of the frost covered ground crunches under my boots.  I can hear the deer running from my approach.  I start to sing a hymn- How Great Thou Art.  I cannot help myself.  I feel His presence all around me and I am in awe.  I stand and stare into the sky, I close my eyes and open my arms.  Comforted to know that no one knows that I am here, cloaked in total darkness.  A tear escapes and runs down my cheek.  I just love spending time with God.  I am reluctant to make my way back to the house.

I take a hot shower, dress in lightning speed, make up applied in the dim light- it does not come out too well.  My students like to point out my missing mascara, or the blue shoes with my black pants.  I laugh and they laugh.  They tell me that I am not “normal” and I tell them to never believe the rumor that I ever was.  We laugh and they encourage me to tell them a story.  They love to hear my stories of achieving impossible dreams, believing in the impossible, and encouraging them that if it can happen for me, it most definitely will happen to them.  As I always point out, they are much smarter, prettier, and better than I ever was or will be.  I go through the day, grading papers, encouraging, cajoling, loving, helping, instructing, reaching, pushing, and prodding all of the students at WDHS. 

The day for many is winding down, but I must wind up as I drive home.  Like a bird in flight, I dive bomb the house grabbing jeans as I rush into the bathroom.  I throw on my Raise Your Dreams Farm sweatshirt and vest.  I grab my trusty Timex watch that is waterproof and put on my old boots feeling strangely relaxed, for it is here that I love even more than teaching at school.  I greet my students and the little ones hug me, the older ones slap my back.  My helpers are getting the horses and ponies for me.  We all gather in a circle with the horses joining us for prayer.  We grab each person’s hands. 

The little one says that they would like to pray too.  Of course I tell him.  He says, “Dear God, thank you for Milkshake and Pumpkin.  Thank you for McDonalds and hamburgers.  Thank you for Mommy and Daddy.  Thank you for Miss Jill.  I love you God. Amen”

With that we all gently squeeze one another hands.  My day is a success.  A child that never prayed before, now does.  A mother shares that her daughter is turning around in her behavior since she has been coming out to the farm.  A father and mother smile broadly as their son conquerors fear and rides the gentle Pumpkin.  A mother told me that her daughter no longer feels that she has no purpose in life, because when she is here, she is not only needed but wanted. She now knows her purpose in life, it is to someday teach like Miss Jill.

So, one day at a time.  I keep my eyes focused on the prize- to glorify the King of Kings.  I pray that He is well pleased with my efforts.  I hope that I used my words this day to build and not tear down.  I hope I used my hands to hold and protect.  I hope that I used my heart to expand and swell with love for all people, even those hard ones because they are the ones that need it the most.

Are your eyes focused on the prize?  Do you have a vision for your life?  Do you have a goal for your day?  If not, get thinking, writing, and planning.  Image

%d bloggers like this: